Transcript:
Joyful, productive and fulfilled. That's what you're gonna learn. When you listen to this podcast, all the hats we wear. I'm your host, Scott Snow. I'm a life coach and productivity expert. Our first story here is midnight diner. That's a new TV show on Netflix. Well, I guess it's there's a second season now. But I really liked this show, it's 30 minutes long. And it's reminds me of the beauty of simple pleasures. It's all in Japanese. It's about a guy they call master who is who owns a diner, and they open up a midnight, and they close at seven in the morning. So it's all of the people that, you know, they leave work, and they come stop off at the diner for something to eat. And this reminds me of role transitions. Because as you know, one of the trickiest transitions to make is from your work role, to your home personal role. And a lot of times, it helps to, you know, open the windows in the car to have some specific music you like maybe it's quiet, maybe it's a meditation that you do something going out to eat, grabbing something grabbing a coffee, something you need to do to make help you make that transition between the work view and the home you. Now this show, he only has one thing on the menu, and that's a pork miso soup. But if he has the ingredients, he'll make whatever you request. That's his rule. So a lot of people bring their own ingredients and give them to him. So each episode is it's really a charming, sweet show. And each episode focuses on a dish, a simple Japanese dish, it could be butter, rice, soup stock with a rolled omelet. orcia Zuki, which is basically rice with some kind of meat with it pickled plum, cod row salmon, rice with tea rice with soup, bonito flakes over rice, Benito, I guess is like a fish that you It looks like a piece of wood that you shave, you know, with a planer it's called cat rice. So I really enjoyed the show. And it's based on manga series, I guess called Shinya shokudo. And I love the simplicity of it. Actually, you know, I one of my bucket list is to get Japanese flooring in my house. It's called tatami, and this is a woven straw. I'm sure you've seen it, you know, in Japanese movies, or even the, you know, the famous scene in The Matrix, when he's training for kung fu that all the floors, it's just that beautiful, smooth, woven straw material I really like. So some episodes were about friendship, you know, there was one between a mob boss and a transexual. In the, of course, their paths usually wouldn't, you know, connect, but they became friends. And there's one funny quote from the transexual. And they're drinking and he's feeling more comfortable with the mob guy who is very, you know, rigid and standoffish. And they both say that usually they wouldn't like each other at all. Like they they despise mobsters, or despise transexual in the transactional says, oh, get off your high horse. And I thought that was such a perfect response, you know, when he's feeling less inhibited, just to say the truth of what it is. There was one episode about three female friends that they they're funny together, they always talk in unison and they're, they're searching for the perfect love. And there's a fancy food critic, who was very conceited and very rude. And he became very interested in you know, very simple butter rice. There's an episode about a porn star who reunites with his reunites with his elderly mom, who has dementia, a boxer who falls in love. It's just a really charming, interesting show. Reminds me of Episode 13 of my podcast, where I talk about the great documentary Jiro dreams of sushi about the world's greatest sushi restaurant in Japan. Story number two, David kantoor passed away and he was an innovative mental health counselor. He created this idea for mental health support groups, which I'm very interested in because I'm considering starting some open zoom groups. For my all the hats we wear a podcast on all the hats we wear
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So where people could get together and have support and have some exercises to help them manage their busy life, and share resources with one another. love that idea, I think there's a great need for it too. So, keep watch on the website, I do have a page about this zoom support group. So I'm trying to find out the schedule. I mean, probably in the next week, you'll see some regular office hours that where we can get together and you can pop in and get some help. Now this guy, David Cantor, he he left a lasting legacy. And his pioneering work pioneering work was his structural dynamics theory of communications and sounds very fancy. He had a theory of face to face communication, where anytime two or more people were in a room conversing. If they have history, they'll develop a dynamic. So the foundation of his theory was the four player method, or model. And he says, There are only four kinds of structural acts that people use in all communication. All communication within this group can be funneled down to four actions. The first is to move like an example let's go to the movies, someone who's in charge and who's given the suggestion to is to follow, three is to oppose. And four is the bystander, which is the most important vocal act of the four. And this is the ability to add perspective to what's going on, and to bridge differences between people. I'm also thinking of Irvin yalom, who was like the godfather of psychiatric group therapy, and he wrote an excellent book about that, that was part of my internship. Report, my paper that I had to do with my six month internship at Westboro state psychiatric hospital. Also, he started something he called the well met halfway house. And it was innovative back in then, because it had college students working in residential group homes, this halfway house, and it was a family atmosphere, that people in transition are more open to change than those stably located in an institution. I think that's an important point. He expanded his systems theory to the business world and did a lot of management consulting in his later years, and he wrote a book called reading the room, group dynamics for coaches and leaders. interesting guy. Next story, finding meaning in grief. The book is called finding meaning the sixth stage of grief by David Kessler. He says that we have to find meaning in our loss, to process our grief. Now, we've all lost things due to the pandemic, rituals, loved ones, events, graduations ceremonies. And we have the false idea that our work is to make the grief smaller word our actual work is to become bigger and go around that grief and that loss. Kessler says that meaning doesn't mean understanding. For example, you may never understand why a loved one died. But you can find meaning. And that may change you for the better example. The woman who lost her child to a drunk driver went on to found MADD Mothers Against Drunk Driving. So she became much more determined and generous and she had a vehicle to celebrate his life and to do something worthy of meaning. Also, Kessler says that he fears when things open up after the pandemic that people that have passed away, their family members might just say, Well, they've been gone for a while, you know, let's not have a funeral. But he says that we need to have funerals, that their grief hasn't been witnessed. The person who passed away it was left alone in isolation during the pandemic, and that we need these rituals like a funeral. A funeral is a marking of life, he says. And Kessler had some extreme loss in his life as well. He lost a 21 year old son back in 2016. Very suddenly. And Kessler doesn't agree with the the advice, move on, just move on. He prefers move forward with it.
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And I love this story here. This gets a ding. He did a lecture series in Hamburg, Germany. And he says there's a church right in the middle of a bustling, beautiful city. There's a church that's still in ruins, and they keep it there. It's St. Nikolai church, in Hamburg, Germany. And he likes to hold the loss of his son in his heart like this church. is surrounded by a beautiful new city. So Kessler says his heart partially is always devastated by that loss of his son. There's always a place in his heart that's just always going to be ruined because of that. But that doesn't mean that he can still build a beautiful structure around that devastation. He can go on with his life and make beautiful things happen. So well said, Kessler. Next story is about shipwrecked boys that had a situation just like the Lord of the Flies. And Australians seafarer named Peter Warner, in 1966 discovered six boys on an uninhabited island in the South Pacific. They had been there for 15 months, hadn't had six boys. When they 15 months before the boys their ages 13 to 16. They stole a boat for a joy ride, or Mariner joy ride. And then they got a storm. And then they were adrift for eight days. And then finally they saw this island so they got to the island. They first lived off rockfish and birds eggs. And after a while they stumbled upon the ruins of a village and they found a machete and some chicken and they made a fire. And then they created their own house a thatched roof hut. They made a garden. They had badminton, they made a guitar and each night they ended the night with prayers and songs. I mean, it sounds like the best movie ever. They had a strict duty roster where they all participated in duties. And they learned how to trust themselves. So it's kind of a real life Lord of the Rings, but it wasn't murderous anarchy. Like in the famous book. It suggested that cooperation perhaps is an integral feature of the human nature. So inspirational story there. All right. Thanks for joining me. I hope you got something out of this podcast. If you did, let me know. If you want to hear more about what I do. Check out the website. All the hats we wear calm, and you can even take a free one hour course to completely change your approach to time management and balancing your crazy busy life. Check out all the hats we wear calm. Until next time, we'll see you!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
